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| Where I find a quiet place.
It's where my soul finds sacred space.
It's where my knees touch the ground.
It's where peace is found.
In You, Jesus.
In You, Jesus.
In You, Jesus.
It's where my heart is purified;
the only place I feel alive.
It's where my Father beckons me.
It's where this child is meant to be.
.....wow.....wow.....I just need peace now....everything in front of me and everything behind me, why does it even matter anymore? Have I lost sight of what life is about? Some how there is an awakening within me....suddenly all my thoughts and worries disappear and then I realize, I have missed these past few years that is why I am in this place, wow....for the first time in a long time I can see that the future does not matter and does not dictate who I am or who I will be...this is the time for a new beginning a fresh start one without fear or worry, one focused on Jesus and not missing out on the opportunities big or small, not taking anything for granted, not living in the past or the future but settled in Jesus...that is what it means to focused on Jesus and living for Him I think, just knowing that things can go bad, but not letting that affect you....yeah I think that is it......freedom....
The throne of my heart has an incompetent ruler without You.
I look to You for the love of You, the peace of You to silence all the noise within.
To bring tranquility to all the scattered thoughts within.
I learn to think of You and not of me.
To go deep in You until I lose who I used to be.
With You I can be everything You intended me to be.
And it's in this sacred space where I lay my ability to be anything without You.
Where I lay my preconceived notions about You.
Where I forget about me. To remember life is about you.
To remember I live for Your smile.
To remember I live for Your smile more than I live to please the crowd.
Make me like water.
See through me.
See You through me.
Nothing left of me to see.
Cleanse me.
Immerse me in purity.
Wash me of iniquity.
Help me to choose You.
To lavish You with a lifestyle worthy of You.
To lavish You with more than words.
To lavish You with all that you deserve.
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| hmmm...wow....seeing my name up on a wall seems to change things...it is all about perspective....the culmination of 4.5 years of 'work' all for a piece of paper with my name saying I was there...seems this should make me ecstatic but this feeling eludes me....4.5 years of college and all I have to show is a piece of paper? hmm....seems that I missed something, seems like the last few years have been bland and filled with a non-typical college students activities and the like.....where has the time and opportunity gone? Where is the impact that I imagined in my mind after 4 years of college...yet there is nothing at all to show except a piece of paper and the big question mark that hovers after december 10....perhaps my fault was being too reminiscent of past times and trying to re-invent myself or move out from under the shadow of my siblings...whatever it was I completely lost myself and now I find myself 4 years down the road far far away from the 18 year old high school grad full of promise and potential, all wasted....so much wasted time and energy on things so worthless....years full of blaming myself for missed chances to make a difference and missing time after time after time....so here I am on the tipping point of the deep blackness with no plan and little direction because I never saw this coming somehow, I guess that is what happens when you are always looking back and never looking forward.....so instead of leaving this moment with a feeling of helplessness and self pity, perhaps it would be best to put a reason behind my smile and look forward with anticipation instead of fear and stop driving in the rear-view mirror of life...yeah.....well that is where I am now....to any who still read this.....thanks...... | | |
| trapped...cornered....secluded....wow it feels like a dead-end, nothing ahead, no promise, nothing to look forward too, why is it that it seems that only a short time ago life seemed so full of promise and expectation of new adventures, but now it seems as if all that has gone away....somehow slipped just beyond my grasp....now I sit here wondering how this happened, how a life full of promise suddenly get stuck short-sighted and mundane......is there nothing there anymore? perhaps I have gotten lost in my delusions or could it be that my mind is slowly slipping from me, memories and events that once were so familiar have faded...I struggle in the day to day and barely remember the so called 'good times'....my only link are the pictures which seem surreal....of course I know I was there, but was I really there? sounds like something out of a messed up movie...how real can all of this actually be, how can we know for certain what we feel and experience is in fact real, your mind can play some harsh tricks on a person, and it seems to have happened to me...so if I lose my past will I lose who I used to be? scary thought that seems to be an increasing reality....stuck...it feels as if my mind is racing to somewhere but once it arrives I can't remember where it started, oh to have a clear mind where things weren't so fogging and I could remember to talk to people or just remember the simple things in life...after all it is the simple things in life that make it enjoyable....trapped....cornered....secluded.....by my own mind it seems.... | | |
| Yeah I post alot of songs...but I feel it is easier to post them because I am not a writer so these are just random songs.....
In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...
You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...
You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,
You don't know me, you don't even care...
Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name. | | |
| I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you | | |
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